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ramonathinks · 3 months ago

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HIGHEST BIDDER.

summary: tired of your virginity, you decide to auction it off — but you weren’t thinking it would be leader of the notorious group, onychinus who offers the most money of $10,000,000.

cw// 18+ virginity loss, soft sex, small plot but not really, pet names, slight? knife play, oral, she/her pronouns, choking, finger sucking, praise, dumbification, degradation, slight fingering, corruption kink( if you squint), female guided masturbation (? kinda? idk!), squirting, attempt at aftercare, the twins have a cameo. wc: 5.3k

tagging: @lvminy @kissxcore @sunasbon @preciousamethyst (hope it’s okay to tag you guys 🥹🫶🏾) @satorubi

You could only assume it was Luke or Kieran who had told Sylus where you were and perhaps what you were up to. Or maybe it was that damn crow, who insisted you stayed inside. But really, it didn’t matter who said anything because Sylus was grabbing you before a single hand flew up.

“10 million.” His voice was sharp — a hint of anger, annoyance and frustration on him, it oozed off his body and with the dazzling ruby eyes of him staring everyone down… they got the hint that he was throwing around. He was pissed. Too pissed to hear what anyone else had to say. Power rolled off of him in waves everyday but it was obvious that this day, and this girl and this place was provoking him.

The auctioneer's lips trembled in his presence. “T-ten million going at once.” He awkwardly scanned the room, not a cough of a mumble was heard. “Going twice.” Breads of sweat gathered around his forehead and he swallowed. “Sold!” He exclaimed, nodding his head rapidly in Slyus’ direction, guiding the both of you towards a secluded area.

He scoffed and tightened his grip on your body, it took him little to no effort to hand over his card and in a few seconds the transaction was completed; a portion for them and the bigger sum of the money going to you. His eyes narrowed as he glared at you briefly.

You couldn’t help but feel like the stupidest person ever and perhaps at this moment… you were. Being stuck inside and with nowhere to go most days because of the claims of dangers awaiting you, it was tiring. Plus, you had urges, like anyone else – womanly and carnal urges, desires and fantasies. You couldn’t help yourself when Luke mentioned it in passing and Kieran slapped him on the head telling him to shut up about it; it was simply interesting and something Linkon City would’ve never allowed.

You hated the silence. “Are…are you mad at me?” Walking out of the pale building and to the dark cold outside, moving close to his motorcycle. Looking around you think about how the tenebrific ambience that’s casted over this place, it really wasn’t the same as where you grew up, time moves differently here, almost.

“You went into the N109 Zone alone, potentially putting yourself in danger and you want to know if I’m mad at you?” He speaks with a hard tone, his touch scorching hot against your arm, his touch addicting. “Of all the times to be reckless…” He does a heavy sigh, followed by pinching the bridge of his nose.

He’s handing you a helmet and putting his own, sitting down and waiting for your arms to wrap around his waist before he drives off. The wind rushes through you swiftly and no matter how many times you’re on his motorcycle, you can’t help but to feel fear course through every fiber of your body.

Time always seemed to move faster when you were with him and it moved especially fast being on his motorcycle, he drove dangerously and it always led to you clinging more closer to him than you realized.

Upon making it back, you jumped off the motorcycle and handed him the helmet, shaking your hair to make sure it looked halfway decent.

Stepping back inside of the Headquarters of Onychinus, Luke popped his head around the corner and you mustered up the angriest glare that you could make him cower away. You could hear him and Kieran chattering about something. “No use in being mad at them, you brought this on to yourself.” Sylus told you, ushering you into his room.

You just sighed, sitting with your legs crossed on a singular chair that was near a small table in the room. The air felt more tense and uncomfortable than the other times you were here and you couldn’t help but to think of how for once you wished that Mephisto was here so that you wouldn’t be alone with him, not with this temper he clearly had. “Listen Sylus, it was a stupid thing and I know that—”

Lightening wasn’t as quick as him when he grabbed the sides of your face and kissed you. Nothing with him was ever warm and inviting, always hard and even a bit mean but luckily not forceful. His tongue licked at your lips and you complied with no hesitation. His tongue felt hot against your own, it sent flames up your body and you could feel everything in the pit of your stomach and to your throat. When he pulled away, he looked at you and from the way he smirked… you knew you looked out of it. Your eyes alone felt heavy and your knees were wobbling, too weak to stand. With your eyes on his, you watched the dazzling red become harder to look away from.

The voices came strong and with a clear message: “fuck him… fulfill your desires…” they spoke to you and you both loved and hated the throbbing sensation that followed. You wanted to remind yourself that he was an enemy… it was too hard to do when he looked like he did and with a voice as deep and rich, it was almost unbearable. Yes, he was an enemy but you couldn’t lie to yourself; you knew the real reason you went to the auction was to make him jealous. You don’t know what it is about him that makes you react the way it does but it burns inside of you and to your very core.

When the light from his eye dimmed and with rapid blinks you were back and felt more stable. “Your little mind always tells me more than your lips do. If you wanted me… I would’ve given you all of me with no hesitation.” It sounded like a promise and it swayed you, you leaned into his arms. “I can try to be gentle.” He whispered close to you, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips.

“Sylus,” His name trembles out of your lips. “I want you to touch me. I want you to make me…” You squeezed your thighs together. “I want you to make me feel good.” You felt too vulnerable in his presence but the truth slipped from your lips so fast as if you were forced to.

He looked as if something took over him, desire deep in his ruby eyes and you couldn’t look away from him, too turned on. “Take your clothes off.” His husky voice said above you. He didn’t move, just watched you shuffle your clothes off until you were in nothing but your panties; when you moved to take those off, it was then that he stopped you. “I’ll handle the rest.” He assured you before he laid you down — your head on his soft black pillows and your body rigid.

You don’t know where the knife came from until it’s rubbing up your calf and moving its way up to your underwear, the cool metal piercing your skin just barely. Your breathing labored and measured, trying not to show your fear but it was failing you. “Stay still, I would hate to nick your pretty skin.” The knife tickled your thighs when he finally snipped open the front that held your secret possession.

He groaned at the sight, audible and bit his lips to contain himself more. You wanted to cover yourself but when your legs moved even a tiny bit to hide, he spread them wider and the cool breezes from around the room slapped across your feverish cunt. There was a smile so deep on his lips as he spread your lips open for him to see. “You ever touched down here?” The way he said it, as if you were all innocent, he narrowed his eyes when you nodded yes. “Show me.”

“H-huh?” You stuttered out. “I can’t just…”

“Just show me what you normally do… when you’re all alone… in your room…under the covers.” He says it slowly, letting you absorb every word he says.

You’re bare and can feel just how comfortable his comforter set was. Your cunt wet and inviting but his eyes stay on yours, which makes it harder for you to breathe. “I just kinda just do…” Clumsily you spread your lips and simply slid your fingers around yourself, barely focusing on your clit but already overwhelmed. “But I can’t make myself cum, ‘m too sensitive.” His eyes transfixed on your fingers and pussy as you work yourself, your face contorting between pleasure and something else before you stop, heavily breathing.

“Oh? No wonder you’re so unsatisfied, you don’t know your own body. Good thing I’m here to help.” He’s closer, sitting at the end of the bed yet so close to you. He spreads your legs and you can see a glimpse of excitement dancing in his eyes. He inspects you – stroking up your legs and inching his way up and down your thighs, ignoring how with every touch your breath hitches and your toes curl. “I haven’t even touched you that much and you’re already a mess.” He spreads you; opens you up and closes your folds again completely immersed in the gushy noises that follows.

“This,” Sylus says, spreading your sticky lips apart and his breathing getting heavier. “This is your pretty little clit.” He taps the bud with the rough pads of his fingers. “She sits right here behind these lips.” His fingers are lighting a fire and trailing it around your body. “Open these up again… and this,” you gasp, his fingers sitting right in the spot you never touch. “This twitching little hole? That’s where I’m going to fill you up.” He chuckles humorously, circling the hole and gathering the leaking wetness there, your hips rising on their own accord before he pulls away.

“Now, your turn.”

“But I—” You’re close to tears, wetness gathered at your lash line daring to fall. “I can’t, I don’t think I can do it like you.” You hated how needy you sounded and how clingy you were being.

“I hardly did anything. Just simple touches, to show you where everything was. Pleasure points that you should follow. Did you want more? Did you like how I touched you, little one?” You couldn’t help but to gasp at the nickname, it filled your body with more wetness and he watched it leak down to his sheets.

Your insides continue to flutter at the name and your face feels hot. “This is what you paid for right? Might as well get your fill from it.” You try to sound bold and intimidating but his demeanor just softens at your attempt.

“As you wish.” He bends down and cups your cheek before placing a delicate kiss on your lips and you can’t help but to squeal a bit at the warmth that his lips bring you. His fingers brush your face before he moves his mouth down to your neck, licking a stripe before sucking on your skin. You can feel his lips curling into a smile at every noise you make. “I could do this all day… but where’s the fun in that? I’m sure you’ll make even better noises when I touch here.” Cupping the palm of his hand and gently slapping it against your core, your back arches and a whiny moan slips out.

“See? So much better.” You hate the smug look on his face, his red eyes radiant in the dim room staring you down makes you self conscious and ready to hide yourself from him. “I’m going to put my fingers right here,” His breath tickling your core. “Then my tongue, okay?”

You just nod…unable to speak, he watches your face and holds his fingers up to your lips.“Put 'em in your mouth for me, get' em all wet…” Your tongue slides between them, saliva spilling out of the corners of your mouth. “Good girl,” he patted your head, ruffling your hair and you couldn’t help the feeling that took over you. Your mind was everywhere yet nowhere, just him… that was all your mind could think of and be consumed with. The praise had your body on a different kind of high.

He uses those same cool wet fingers to open you wider. Slowly dipping inside of you, circling your center and easing inside, making you tighten up. “Don’t clench, just relax. It’ll only hurt more if you do that.” You take a few deep breaths, allowing your chest to fill up and expand before a release. He spreads your lips and he just looks. There’s a hum on his lips before he kisses your clit; full tongue running across the sensitive area. Your back lifts and arches off the bed but putting his hand on your lower stomach – he forces you to take it. There’s a look in his eyes that’s daring you to disobey him and it makes your tummy flutter.

He puts his full tongue against your clit and you try not to move but your body trembles. His fingers draw circles around your thighs, inching closer to your slit. It makes you realize that he was simply distracting you to alleviate the slight pain from when his fingers actually slipped inside. When they did, you gasped aloud. “Sly–us… please.” Your legs threatened to close but you forced yourself to keep them open and it took a lot out of you.

“Good girl.” He muttered, obviously appreciating your efforts. “So tight…” He tries to move his finger but you only flinch and groan, which makes him use two fingers from his opposite hand to rub lazy circles against your clit. That alongside your breathing helps your body relax and brings a lot of ease to you, opening yourself up. He slowly strokes your insides, taking his time to drag it forward and back, slipping it out before bringing it back inside. You can’t help but notice how eyes flicker from your lower half to your face occasionally but you don’t say anything. “Deep breath.” He tells you before he slips another finger in beside the other.

You whine when he moves them both inside of you, your body rocking against his fingers with a circular motion of your hips. He opens them up before closing them again, you grip the sheets. He felt so deep inside of you with just his fingers… the real thing would be different – longer and thicker – you didn’t know if you were ready. “You’re overthinking aren't you? Just focus on how you’re feeling right now.” His eyes are on yours, his fingers curling inside of you so deliciously that you forget to breathe. When he takes them out, you feel incredibly empty, your hole clenching for more. You're huffing and shaking when you look his way again, he’s opening and closing the two fingers that were inside of you; playing with the slick that was there before he sucks them off. He slips them back inside, sliding them on your inner walls and pressing upwards – the pads of his fingers rubbing circles inside of your soft insides; which makes you squeeze his fingers tight. Rubbing your clit again to soothe you, he slowly curves them as he slips them out – you gasp at the feeling.

He grips your hips and forces you to slide down, his breath knocking the wind out of you when you feel it right by your slit. Your fingers tightly gripping the duvet in anticipation, awaiting his tongue. You gasp when his tongue circles over the hole, nudging there just a bit before he licks up a wet trail; moving back to your clit. He plants a small kiss on the pink throbbing bud, then another before he takes it in his mouth and sucks. His tongue moving around in shapes you can’t make out until you feel the hard S he craves in with his mouth, his head rocking against your legs. When the Y comes, he’s peeling back the hood of your clit and flicking the initial inside rapidly. He slides his face down before he finishes, he pulls your sticky lips apart and dives inside. The tip of his tongue sliding back and forth achingly and painfully slow, his head shaking to the sides when he licks upwards, curving his tongue to hit a particular spongy spot that makes your thighs shake. Your fingers now dig through his silvery hair, pulling when he does a harsh lick against your core. “Taste so good…” He mumbles, rolling your clit between his tongue.

The obscene noises that you hear comes from his mouth feasting on you – slurping, sucking and even the noises of his own groans. Groans that were akin to a dying man giving his last prayer, his groans were drowning out the sounds of your own moans. “I can’t take it–” Slushing sloppy noises are what drowns out your moans and pleads. “Sylus please…” You can feel your own wetness under your bottom and embarrassment floods through you, and at the right time his nose bumps into your clit and you grind into it more with a huff; nothing but useless babbling coming out of your mouth. Another lick causes your toes to curl and your body to twist and coil when a leaking orgasm passes through you; which doesn’t stop him from sucking everything that you have to offer.

His hair now disheveled from you tugging and pulling on it — his face sopping wet from your juices and you can’t help but look away from him, he sits completely upwards. “Look at me.” Your eyes back on his, biting your lip before you looked down at the bulge in his pants – it looked so big and your mouth ran dry. It was an accident and unconscious thing but you licked your lips while staring and before you knew it, he was speaking again. “You look really interested in pleasing me.” His brow is arched and his voice low. “This is going to be fun.” He said more to himself than you, standing and unzipping his pants.

You were still completely naked yet he was clothed – almost fully – just his cock sitting out of his pants standing hard and proud against his stomach. This sight before you made you remember who was in power and just how much power you lacked. But wordlessly, you got on your knees. “You want it? Want my cock? ‘Can see how you’re panting for it.” He was truly condescending and knew how to put you in your place, but the way he made you cum made you see nothing but starlight and you wanted to please him.“Come and take what you want sweetie, take what you need.” You stared – 7 and a half inches of a tanned cock and two firm balls blocked your view of everything else – the tip leaking with white sticky precum dripping down. You trace your tongue up the sides, licking up anything you can to get the taste of him before you kiss the head; then you open your mouth around him and let your teeth run against the sides before you suck him in.

“Watch your teeth, kitten.” His nose scrunched up and he closed his eyes, his shoulders growing relaxed, you take what you can’t fit in your mouth in your hand and give it a few gentle strokes. “And be careful around the— thehead.” He says when your tongue runs a circle around the tip and one wet suck. His face relaxes for a second and you can’t help but to look him over. You knew he was good looking but right now with pleasure all over him, he looks a thousand times better.

The heaviness in your mouth felt so foreign but you welcomed it, the masculine salty taste that followed when you bobbled your head back and the way your cheeks puffed out because of him; it felt good. Your saliva dripped on the floor beneath you, your technique sloppy but when Sylus gripped the back of your head, you felt like you were on cloud nine. He gently guided you, pulling you forward and back – letting your mouth take him as deep as you can, before he pulled you back off. He inches himself inside, you suck and swallow around him, hearing him groan above you sent your body into a frenzy. You choke a bit but he keeps a steady pace to train your mouth again, muffled moans erupt from you when he moves your head again, hitting a deeper spot almost reaching the back of your throat.

“Such a good girl…” He cooed and a whine slipped through your lips, his praise making your thighs clench together. When he finally pulled you off, strings of spit broke off from your mouth and his dick. “I’m going to come inside of you.” He tells you, but you can barely register what he’s saying too far gone on your high of being used. You’re smiling a dopey grin and he squeezes the sides of your face to make you look at him, your glossy eyes in a permanent daze. “That was only the beginning, are you sure you can handle the rest?”

“Mhm. I’m sure.” Your voice is trembling and hoarse as you speak. You wanted to feel him cum inside of your throat but maybe you were being too greedy, your body swayed. He lifted you up from the floor, your knees burning. You lay there, your eyes droopy as you wait for him, all you hear is movement and a zipper before he returns to you.

“You belong to me, got it?” His hand wrapped around your throat. “Your body is mine to please, to fuck with… to do whatever I want with. And I don’t plan on letting you forget it.” His voice is hard and mean again, his jaw tense as he stares in your eyes.

“I knowww.” A whimper mixed with a whine comes from your throat. He doesn’t say anything, just sighs. Your body trembles and you sniffle, it makes him cradle your hand in his hands.

“You’re shaking, are you that scared?” He asks you gently, as if you’re a flower who needs tending to. Your eyes wide but say nothing. He laced your fingers together, his hands covering the both of yours in an iron grip. “It’s okay kitten, I won’t hurt you.”

You yelp upon feeling a cool sensation hit your lower half, him rubbing it more inside. He’s hovering over you, his beautiful face watching over yours as he slides his cock over your pussy, not daring to push it inside. He just moves his hips well enough that you’re gasping every time, his tip bumps your clit and you bite your lip, your nails ready to pierce his back. You lean into his touch and he kisses your jaw, trailing them down and gently nibbling at your collarbone, sucking on the skin. “Relax,” He says, playing with your wet folds, he starts to play with your clit again and you shiver. “I’ll be gentle.” Did Sylus truly know the meaning of the word? You’re wailing when he slides just the head in, barely. Easing a small bit of his tip in and fucking you just a tiny bit.

Then you feel him nudging more inside of you – his head thick and the squelching noises of him moving in make you tense up, but he whispers in your hair to calm you down and then you’re sucking him in. Your voice is gurgly when more of him slides in, a new found warmth inside of you. “Still so tight…” A strained groan fell from his lips, you reached from him with tears in your eyes. Sylus didn’t move, he rubbed your hair but stayed there then he did a tiny jerk of his hips, the stretch makes you sob, but you know that he’s only barely inside of you and that there was more to come. He tells you to take a deep breath and you listen, not wanting to be in any more pain; he slips more of it inside, a thumb on your clit. He presses his thumb and does small circles around it – strangled sounds come out of your lips – he still hasn't moved.

You look at him, you put his face in your hands and look in his eyes, telling him just how ready you are for this. He’s working his cock in slowly, inch by inch but he looks like he's scared to overwhelm you. When his pelvis meets yours you gasp…your hips buckle when he completely bottoms out, a sigh dying on your lips and tears free falling… it didn’t hurt as much as you expected it to but the pain still lingered. Your eyes rolling back and you squeal, your fingers holding tightly against him. “Oh…oh… Sylus.” Panting – your eyes probably filled with hearts — as you look at him, lovingly. The stringing stretch subsides when he does a small thrust, not too deep but enough to make you feel good. He pulls back and pushes himself back inside, watching your expression as you take him.

He’s being as gentle as he can, you notice. His hips thrusting soft, just nudging the soft spots inside of you. He pushes inside of you again, the first painless thrust and you both moan. Your belly tenses when he speeds up and the noises of wet skin slapping makes your body heat up. He’s rocking his hips against yours, circling his hips clockwise in a way that makes you shudder. You can feel him throbbing and pulsing inside of you, he fucks you a bit harder than before. The sound of his balls slapping against you is all you can hear – his strokes getting deeper as he slows down, you look down and see the strings of wetness coating his cock as he stuffs you full of it again. “God, feels so good inside of you.” His mouth slightly agape.

A small squirt of wetness spills out of you as he thrusts inside, some of it under your bodies and some of it splashing upwards as he digs deeper inside of you. You’re squirming and squirting, eyes crossing over when you hear him say: “Marking your territory, kitten?” It only makes you gush more, squeezing around him. You can feel his deep chuckles as it vibrates from his chest to yours – he’s always mocking you but right now you could care less —the way your body feels has you ready to bend to his whim. “This little kitten and these sharp claws…” he hisses when you press your nails deeper into his skin, you dig them down his back. The long drag of his cock felt amazing against your walls, a small sharp thrust inside has you both grunting.“Clenching around me so hard.” He kisses the top part of your head and you relish in how caring he’s been, you almost forgot how any of this started.

“What’s my name?” His voice thick with a bit of annoyance, it was clear that he didn’t forget how any of this started. You felt full, lifting your hips trying to meet his thrust, his cock hitting spongy parts inside of you that made you see nothing but bright colors.

“Sy-Sylus!” Your eyes rolling back in your skull and your mouth in a permanent ‘o’ shape as he’s inside of you, pure bliss in the form of the gentle thrusting of his body into yours.

“Who do you belong to?” His teeth clenched and he’s squeezing your waist hard, staring at you… his ruby red eyes glowing in the dim room. His pace picking up faster, squelching plopping noises from the two of you grew louder.

“Youuuu. Sylus.” You admit, puffy pussy sucking him inside. “I belong to you.” He touches your stomach, gazing at it as he fucks himself inside of you.

“Who does this pussy belong to?” His hand on your throat. Grinding his pelvis against yours, your clit pulsing against him. He stops and slides out before he jerks back in, gripping your thighs.

“Sylus!” You’re breathing hard and feel him twitching inside of you when you say his name again.

“And you tried to give it away.” He slapped your cunt and you jolted, a small squirt coming out of you.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice is muffled and tears fall; you feel so good and you can’t believe you made the stupid decision in the first place when you could’ve asked him to do this… to make you feel this good. Closing your eyes, you focus on the feeling. He’s stretching you out, squeezing your ass in both of his hands to further spread your body open for his pleasure.

“Eyes on me. Keep looking at me. Look at me while I touch you. Look at me when I make you cum.” Your eyes still closed and he sighs. “Look at me or I’ll stop.” He gives a sloppy wet thrust pumping his cock inside of you.

That simple statement made your eyes snap open, “Sylus please…please don’t stop!” There’s a tremor in your voice and the bed creaks at the same time; your wet walls swallowing him deeper inside. “Please fill me up. I need it.” You’re babbling and the curve of his cock hits a new spot inside of you, the tip grazing your cervix just slightly… just enough to make you feel good and to gasp around him.

It felt like he was going to devour you.

And you craved it.

So you let him.

It was one last thrust that was your undoing as you both cum, your back arched and your body feeling completely boneless, wetness slipping out of you as he pulled away. Your body shaking, he kisses you and pulls you close to his bare chest. As you’re drifting to sleep you hear him whisper in the sweetest voice, “I truly do adore you.”

But maybe you dreamt it.

When you wake, your body is covered in sweat and a heavy arm has you caged in. There’s a dull ache between your thighs and you feel wetness there too, you shiver. You slide from behind the arm and attempt to stand. “Fuck.” You mutter, looking for your clothes or for any clothes. You mentally slap yourself upon remembering that Sylus cut your panties as you rummage through his closet. You pull out a folded plain dress and slip it on, making your way out of his bedroom. You close the door gently so that he can stay asleep and you walk towards the main hall.

“Sounds like Boss really taught you a lesson.” You heard snickering and with a slight limp to your walk, you moved over to slap Luke’s arm.

“Looks like it too.” Kieran said, making you hit him too. “It’s not like we didn’t hear it, you two were so loud that Mephisto left and I swear before he left that he tried to cover his ears. I would’ve done it too, if I thought it would drown off the ‘Sylus don’t stop’ you kept moanin.” Mimicking your voice made you kick him in the shin, which he yelped at.

“Both of you just hush. I-I’m leaving.” You make your way for the door as they trail behind you.

“So this is you attempting to sneak off?” Luke snorts, you know he’s rolling his eyes behind the mask.

“Yeah right, boss really isn’t letting you leave now.” Kieran chuckles.

“They’re right, you know.” For a split second your body is lifted in the air and slammed against the front of a hard naked chest and for possibly the millionth time today, your body felt hot all over. “You really won’t be leaving my side now.”

But you already knew that.

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deathmybride · 2 years ago

Text

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ entanglement theory | robert capa *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Bonus Chapter

ship: robert capa X fem!oc

warnings: capa is mildly suicidal but it's basically tooth-rotting fluff for the most part, capa has a bruise from his fight with mace, i try (and fail) to explain several pieces of theoretical physics through dialogue despite having only a layman's understanding of the concepts.

summary: capa's insomnia inadvertently causes an impromptu date.

word count: 3263

a/n: i know almost nothing about physics, but I do try to explore some of the concepts in the narrative here, so when I inevitably get things painfully wrong, please do correct me. AlsoI know that Searle is the medic as well as the psych officer, but you're going to have to bear with me here. I sort of think of Doc as a bit of an all rounder on board: part gardener, part mechanic, part cook. Basically a spare who helps keep everything running smoothly until it's time to treat illness and injuries.

The floor lights burst in and out of life like tiny stars as I tip-toe down the hall. Icarus tracks my movements closely, giving enough light to see my feet and enough darkness to stay half asleep. The dream is still fresh in my mind, almost more real than the floor beneath my feet. It was frightening, but I wish I could salvage that feeling somehow. The weightlessness and unbearable brightness, the heat and pain so strangely pleasurable, like cleaning corruption from a wound. I wonder if it would truly be so magnificent to die that way. I know I should doubt it- that death is grotesque in truth- but a piece of me still clings to the sense of belonging I felt as my hands turned to dust and burned away into the cosmos. I focus my eyes on the floor lights as they appear and try to bring the vision back into my mind. The lights pale in comparison to the unbending beauty of the sun's surface, but I still see the orange ripples of the source of all life swimming in the tiny artificial effigies. The details of the dream are slipping out of my grasp, back into the shadows of my subconscious when I collide with something warm and hard. I stumble back, sucking in a breath and wheel back blindly to punch my assailant.

"Hey, hey!" A low, gravelly voice commands me, and my arms lock in a vice grip. "Ah- calm down! Icarus, floor lights up."

White light floods the hallway and I come back into myself to see that I'm trapped in the arms of Robert Capa. God help me, he's so cute. His hair is ruffled up and his brow is creased with concern as he sets his nebulous blue eyes on me, locking me into their gravity field.

"What's the matter with you, Doc?"

"Ca-Capa... I'm sorry." I will myself to pull away from him, but time and space seem to stand still. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, but you were going to." He huffs.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

"Relax. What are you doing up anyway?"

"I-" As he frowns, it feels as if every pair of eyes in the universe are scrutinising me. "I was just... Taking a walk."

"Where?" A smirk tugs at the corner of his lip like a fishhook.

"Nowhere."

"Funny. That's exactly where I'm going." He lets me out of his grasp and pushes past me to walk a few paces down the hall, then looks over his shoulder. "Are you coming?"

He gives me a rare smile of encouragement, and as I walk obediently towards him I realise he could make me do anything he wanted with just that smile.

As the primary medic on board the Icarus 2, I am essentially the mother of my crewmates. I kiss their grazes and fuss over them all. I listen to them cry and offer what comfort I can before I move them to the more calculated psychiatric care of Searle. It is my job to love these people as if they are my own family, and I do sincerely. I must treat everyone with equal kindness and empathy, never picking favourites or singling out scapegoats, but when I look at Robert Capa, my training is sucked out of the airlock. No matter how much I try to deny it to myself, I know that his safety and happiness takes absolute precedence in my mind. He is my first thought in the morning and the last one at night. Speaking to him is the only thing that brings me peace, even more than the Earth Room. We are a handful of humans traversing the impossibly massive vacuum of space; we should all be losing our minds, but I feel safe as long as I am close to Capa. Even so, dreams can be more frightening than reality. I want to reach for him somehow and ask him to take on the futile task of protecting me from my own subconscious.

My throat dries up and my cheeks are burning as I walk close beside him, my hand inches from his. I could just slip my fingers in between his. Surreptitious. He might not even notice. What might be an insignificant gesture to him would serve to anchor me to reality. I'm not sure if it's my logical side or simply fear, but I stay my hand and follow beside him as he marches through the hallways, fleet footed and silent.

"So, um," My voice wavers. "Where are we going?"

"Almost there." Capa inclines his head toward me and the ghost of a smile passes over his face.

We wind through a few more hallways until we reach the Payload unit. Capa fiddles with the keypad.

"Why are we here?"

He keeps his eyes trained on the keypad, but quirks an eyebrow and bites the inside of his cheek, his expression somewhere between amused and annoyed.

"Primary Payload entrance unlocked." Icarus lowers the intercom volume and isolates her voice to only this corridor so the rest of the crew may sleep undisturbed.

"Mind yourself." Capa warns as he releases the door and steps inside.

As I pad in behind him, it seems as if a whole world is opening up before me. I have only been inside the Payload a handful of times, and the sheer size of the place awes me every time. Panels upon panels stretching for miles in every direction, each one containing enough nuclear matter to fuel an atomic bomb.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" All the wonder I feel is written on Capa's face.

All I can do is nod. There is a power here that none of us can comprehend, maybe not even Capa himself. I follow him as he traverses the scaffolding that runs a few stories above the ground until he sits down, dangling his feet over the railing. I have only ever seen the Payload from ground level, and the huge scope of the glossy black room is all the more evident from up high.

"It's big in here." I say it just to fill the silence.

Capa huffs, eyes alight with amusement. I sit close beside him and try to focus on the view.

"Fifty billion tonnes of fissile material." Capa muses. "Every scrap of accessible nuclear fuel in our solar system is in this room. The Stellar Bomb. Payload. Humanity's final hail Mary. Doesn't it make you feel tiny?"

Though I have heard every detail hundreds of times before, Capa's voice breathes life into the story that every human in the planetary system thinks about in every waking moment.

"I feel tiny next to you." I admit. "You are the Payload. You're the only person in the universe who can pull off the detonation."

"No pressure, huh?" Capa squints.

"None at all." I bump him with my elbow. "But I didn't mean to freak you out or-"

"I've heard it all before, don't worry."

With nothing to say, we fall into silence again. I drop my legs over the edge and kick them like a child on a swing. I tap his foot with mine earning a breathy laugh, and for a minute or two we tussle as we both try to keep our feet on top. He eventually wins by pushing his ankle underneath mine and locking my foot down under his. My heart races so hard that I'm afraid Icarus might ask me why I'm exercising outside of the designated gym room.

"How's your bruise?"

"Hmmph." Capa lifts his shirt to reveal a yellowing bruise on his ribs. "Hurts when I poke it, but it's alright."

"Why would you poke it?" I giggle, trying hard to keep the redness off my cheeks.

"'Cause its there." He side-eyes me. "Anyway, you should have seen the other guy."

"I did! Not a scratch on him."

"That was on purpose." He closes his eyes and presses his hands together as if in prayer. "I'm completely zen in the face of violent aggression."

"Maybe you just can't fight."

"I can fight, I assure you." He cracks his knuckles and eyes me in amusement. "I'd drop you in an instant."

"Sure, you would." I nudge him.

"You wanna go?"

In a rare moment of confidence, I sling an arm around his shoulder and ruffle his long, velvety hair. He tickles my sides in response with dexterous fingers.

"C-C-Capa stop tha-at before I fall off!" I gasp between giggles.

"I've got you." His grip on me tightens, but he keeps tickling. "Now, say 'yes, Doctor Capa, you can fight.'"

"Ye-yes, Capa, you can fi-ight!"

"Doctor Capa!" He grumbles. "I have a PhD, you know."

"Yes, you can fight, D-doctor Capa."

"Say I'm the most handsome physicist in the solar system."

"You're the mo-host handsome physi- physicist in the- the solar system!"

"Good girl." He quits tickling but keeps a strong hold of me while I catch my breath.

"Dr Bigshot PhD," I say weakly. "You weaselled that out of me!"

"You didn't put up much of a fight." He growls in a voice like black treacle, and I notice how close we have gotten.

My eyes trace the dark stubble growing into the hollow of his cheeks, then his heavy, sleepy eyes, his dicky little sideburns, and finally his pink seashell lips. I feel him studying me too, and I can't help but lean closer as he rubs circles on my waist. A husky breath escapes his lips, and he relinquishes his hold on me. Leaning away, he shakes his head as if to un-stick an annoying thought. A strange, guilty sickness grips me. What did I do wrong?

"You wanna see something cool?" He slaps his hands on his knees and stands up, offering me a hand.

I nod dumbly and accept his help, just happy to touch him. Capa leads me to the control room, and goes through the familiar motions of setting up the control panel. I sit down on one of the swivel chairs and watch his slow, methodical movements. I have noticed before that Capa always thinks things through this way, doing everything by the letter. He has the same slow, practiced approach to relationships, after all it took until nearly the end of our training for Capa to really feel like a friend to myself and the rest of the crew.

"Icarus, show me the lights." Capa presses the test button.

"Yes Capa, initiating Payload visual test."

"C'mere, look." Capa pulls me close to him and points out a tiny white star blossoming in the corner of the room. "See, that's a projection of what the Payload will look like when it's detonated. It's called Cherenkov light."

"I've heard of that." I admit as the lights begin to spread and dance across the room. "How does it work?"

"It's quite fascinating, really." Capa murmurs, the wonder clear in his voice. "The light is caused by charged particles travelling through a dielectric medium faster than the speed of light. That's how powerful a nuclear reaction is. It can fire out particles faster than light itself can travel."

"It's beautiful." The lights wink and swirl together like a glowing algal bloom.

"It is. When this thing detonates and all the stars come out, there will be so much energy all in one place that time and space will smear together. For a few seconds, everything will be unquantifiable. The impossible will be possible. You could light a candle in a fish tank, live a lifetime in a second... stand, unharmed, on the surface of the sun."

"It's almost a shame that we won't get to see it up close."

"I want to. I'd die to."

"You better not." The lights begin to fade, and I look up at Capa. "I'd miss you."

"Yeah?" Capa almost smiles.

"Yeah. What's the point in any of this if we can't enjoy the sunshine together back home?"

"You don't think we'll all be sick of each other by the end of it all?"

"Well... I'm already pretty sick of Harvey, but-"

A hissing laugh escapes from Capa, and he covers his face in embarrassment.

"I think even Harvey's sick of himself by now." He snickers

"We should be careful, he might be listening."

"Oh no, he might be." He chuckles and guides me to sit with him on the lounge at the back of the room. In the quiet darkness, Capa's eyes catch the luminance of the control panel lights.

"Where were you going when we ran into each other?"

"I couldn't get to sleep. There was just... so much going through my head with the comms fuck-up, and..." He sighs. "I've just had a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet." Capa chews his lip. "What about you? Where were you going?"

"Oh um," I flush. "I had a dream and it frightened me. I... I guess I was just clearing my head. Can I tell you about it?"

"Sure." He shifts in his seat to face me better, and tucks his feet up under him.

"It- it was us. We were floating together in space. We weren't wearing equipment, but it was warm and we could breathe. Everything was so still, and there were stars everywhere all around us, just like the Payload test. I thought it was beautiful, and I wanted to tell you but it was like I forgot how to talk. I thought you looked like a star too, so maybe that's why I forgot, I don't know."

"Like a star?"

"Yes, you... I don't know. You were you, but amplified. A-anyway, I noticed that one of the stars was getting bigger, and bigger, and then I realised we were falling towards it. We kept falling and falling so fast that we had to hold hands, or we would have lost each other, and the stars smeared out into white lines, but I wasn't scared, and eventually we passed all these planets and I realised we were falling into the sun. We just kept getting closer and closer to it, and I could see more and more of it until it was all I could see in any direction. It was so burning hot but I couldn't die. Eventually we caught right up to it, and it was right there in front of us and we reached out to touch it, but then I woke up so I don't know what would have happened."

"That's incredible."

"It was. It was really strange, though. It was just like Searle said, the light becomes you, and because you were there too, it was like we became each other."

"Do you get why I would die to see the Payload detonate up close? Not even Icarus knows what will happen when she blows. It'll be a big bang on a small scale. It's entirely possible your dream could occur under those circumstances. You could touch the sun."

"No?" I squint, baffled at the urgency of his tone. "No. I- I don't want to die like that."

"It would be beautiful, Doc, but I won't die with the Payload." He is burning with intensity. "Not if you forbid it."

"Were you planning on it?" I laugh, hoping he is joking.

For a moment, he stares into the middle distance, focused on something only he can see. His eyes are blue supergiants; stars that burn hotter and brighter than any other, and die young as they collapse under their own weight and burst out into brilliant explosions of light.

"Yes." He finally says, coming back into himself. "For a while now, I... I've planned to detonate the Payload from inside, so I can see for myself what it's really like."

"Why?" My voice cracks in despair.

"No human being has ever seen such a thing, or ever will again. What is returning to a frozen earth worth compared to seeing the impossible?"

"Everything, Capa!" I want to shake him. "You'll get to see the ice melt. You'll get to see the world as it was when we were children."

"So will everyone."

"Exactly! We'll see it happen together."

He smiles in a ghostly far-off way.

"Forbid me to do it, and I won't."

"I forbid it." The words come as easy as breathing.

Capa nods, a shadow of disappointment passing over his face for a second before it melts into acceptance.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry." I do not fully understand why I apologise.

"Don't be. You just saved a life."

"Why did you give me the choice?"

"What do you know about entanglement theory?"

"What does that have to do with-"

"What do you know about entanglement theory?"

"Very little."

"So, basically, when placed under a huge amount of energy, such as during the Big Bang, a pair of particles can take on some shared property, and even if one of those particles ends up light years away from the other one, you can still tell that the two are entangled because they still share the same property." Capa is alight and animated in a way that only physics can make him. "Now imagine those atoms spend 13 billion years apart, until eventually they end up on earth, one as part of a person in the United States, and one as a person in Australia, and these particles can sense each other. They're calling out to each other, and it effects the people they are a part of. They make them both interested in science, they make them both adrenaline junkies with fucking god complexes who think it'll be fun to get fired into the sun in a big steel stick insect. And, eventually, the two people find each other. Well, one of them doesn't really know how to act for a while, but the other one is always good to him until he realises what he really wants, and hopefully, one day soon, she might let him kiss her and the two entangled particles can touch again."

"My god." I whisper. He can't be serious, can he? "That's some cheesy shit, Capa."

"Yeah, I know." He buries his face in his hands.

"You don't really believe that do you?"

"No." He grins. "No, I'm talking out of my ass here. But it's a good story, huh?"

"I'm impressed. But I need to know something. Capa, if I tell you now that I don't feel the same, will you throw yourself into the sun?"

"No." Capa's face creases in pain. "I already promised you I wouldn't."

"Good."

I lay my lips on his, as gently as I would hold a rose petal between my fingers. Everything he is melts into me, and I am completely and deliciously his, forever. We are simultaneously binary stars, gravitationally bound to one another in orbit, and a pair of insignificant creatures trapped in the void of space by the hubris of our species. Our hands move across every inch of each other in the ancient, desperate hunger that humans have felt for centuries. The hunger to be closer, even when two bodies are pressed flush against each other, the hunger remains. It is as if there is something deep inside each of us that pines to be touched by the other, something that wants to burst out of us and be a new kind of naked. Everything I have felt for Capa since the start of our training boils out of me and into the kiss. I never want to be without him.

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